Return to Theros
by FluffySheepLion
Summary: Xenagos is gone, but his actions have only kickstarted more events for Theros to partake in. Between injustice, infighting, and insurection, can the eldest gods come together to right the wrongs of their succesors? Welcome to my fan-expansion of MTG and hope you enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**Return to Theros: Arc 1 – Beginning Change**

 **Lore:** After the Xenagos fiasco, five gods awoke from a long slumber: Bibliod, Stellaria, Chroneffius, Populusque, and Hysteria. In order; the gods of fate, space, time, order, and chaos. Foretold to be awoken by a great injustice, that moment came the instant that one Elspeth Tirel was killed by the embodiment of justice; Heliod.

Chroneffius attempted to right the past, but was stopped by Athreos. Stellaria attempted force, but was tricked by Phenax. Hysteria and Populusque attempted to work in tandem, but only ended up arguing. Finally Bibliod took his chances. Walking straight up to Heliod himself, he gave a prophecy foretelling the end of his rule as God of Light. A strange grin never left his face.

U= Blue/ B= Black/ R= Red/ W= White/ G= Green/ T= Tap

 **Bibliod, God of Fate**

Legendary Enchantment Creature – God

2/U/W/R – 1/7

Indestructible

As long as your devotion to blue, white, and red is less than ten, Bibliod isn't a creature.

U/W/R /T- Put a creature token onto the battlefield that is a copy of another creature on the battlefield; or return target non-land permanent you control to its owners hand; or return target instant or sorcery from your graveyard to your hand.

 _Taking the form of a robed human with a covered head, Bibliod has all but been forgotten with only some scribes and librarians still giving offerings to him. His weapon is a tome formed of the overlapping ideas, lives, and stories of Theros._

 **Stellaria, God of Space**

Legendary Enchantment Creature – God

2/G/R/U – 5/5

Indestructible

As long as your devotion to green, red, and blue is less than ten, Stellaria isn't a creature.

G/R/U/T- Target creature you control and target creature you don't control fight; or give target creature you control +3/+3 and trample; or sacrifice a creature and draw X cards where X is that creature's converted mana cost.

 _Taking the form of an elf, Stellaria guards those who seek shelter and punishes those with ill intent. Her weapon is a rather large axe in the shape of a tree._

 **Chroneffius, God of Time**

Legendary Enchantment Creature – God

2/B/U/G – 4/6

Indestructible

As long as your devotion to black, blue, and green is less than ten, Chroneffius isn't a creature.

B/U/G/T- Exile target enchantment; or return target card from your graveyard to your hand; or destroy target creature with toughness four or greater.

 _Taking the form of a vampire, Chroneffius maintains the flow of time in Theros and can only be stopped by Athreos or Erebos. His weapon is a giant clock formed by the spirals of ages and the stars of Nyx._

 **Populusque, God of Order**

Legendary Enchantment Creature – God

2/W/G/B – 3/5

Indestructible

As long as your devotion to white, green, and black is less than ten, Populusque isn't a creature.

W/G/B/T- Prevent all damage that be dealt to target creature; or all creatures you control gain +0/+2 until end of turn; or put a 2/2 white soldier enchantment creature token onto the battlefield under your control.

 _Taking the form of an armored warrior, Populusque enforces the celestial good and the eternal balance. He is against killing and uses a staff made from all of the morals in the plane as his weapon of choice._

 **Hysteria, God of Chaos**

Legendary Enchantment Creature – God

2/R/B/W – 5/3

Indestructible

As long as your devotion to red, black, and white is less than ten, Hysteria isn't a creature.

R/B/W/T- When target creature dies this turn deal two damage to target creature, player, or planeswalker; or all creatures you control get +2/+0 until end of turn; or put two 1/1 red goblin enchantment creature tokens onto the battlefield under your control.

 _Taking the form of a goblin, Hysteria controls the hedonism and 'creativity' of Theros' inhabitants. She is a walking conduit for madness and wields twin axes made from all of the insanity in the plane._

 **Return to Theros: Arc 2 – Stripped from Nyx**

Infuriated by the prophecy; the White god sealed Bibliod and his 'siblings' in mortal forms, letting them succumb to the perils of the plane. Populusque took to the armies, preferring to spend his life in battle. Stellaria took to the woodlands, fighting off monsters and protecting the commoners. Chroneffius took to haunted areas, letting the spirits know that their time had come. Hysteria took to the mountains to spread her influence among the minotaur clans and the goblin clans.

Bibliod started a new life as the lowly commoner/ oracle; Bib. Building a small nameless shrine, Bib spread the true stories of the gods among the mortals. Every heinous act or hypocritical movement was revealed for all eyes – including the death of Elspeth Tirel. Heliod's solution: smite the lowly creature that dare besmirch his name.

Bib held a smile the entire time he told his tales. Bib held a smile as Heliod aimed at him. Bib held a smile as he was smote by the sun spear…

All of Theros shook as the embodiment of destiny was thrown to the underworld, and the entire pantheon of gods was torn in two as war started among the gods.

 **Bib, The Truth Speaker**

Legendary Creature – Human Wizard

3/U – 0/6

Bib cannot declare an attack.

At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal the top card of your deck. If it is a non-land card you may send it to the graveyard. If you do, send X cards from the top of target opponent's deck to the graveyard where X is equal to the card's converted mana cost. If a card with X in its cost is discarded this way, X equals the number of lands you control.

 _Still in the form of a hooded human, Bib spends his days spreading the true tales from the realm of the gods. All was going to plan, now he just needed to wait._

 **Stella, The Earthshaker**

Legendary Creature – Elf Berserker

5/G – 5/5

Stella cannot declare an attack.

At the beginning of your upkeep, you may have target creature you control gain +1/+1 and fight target creature you don't control. Whenever Stella is targeted with a spell put one 2/2 green Wolf enchantment creature token onto the battlefield under your control.

 _Still in the form of an elf, Stella spends her days protecting and rebuilding the forests of Theros. Her wolf companions bow no one else; not even Nylea._

 **Chrona, The Death Whisperer**

Legendary Creature – Vampire Cleric

5/B – 0/4

Chrona cannot declare an attack.

At the beginning of your upkeep, put one 1/1 black Spirit enchantment creature token with flying onto the battlefield under your control. Whenever a creature you control dies, put a -1/-1 counter on target creature your opponent controls or target opponent loses one life.

 _Still in the form of a vampire, Chrona spends his days releasing the spirits of the departed from Theros. He vehemently detests the Returned._

 **Porulen, The Immovable Object**

Legendary Creature – Human Soldier

5/W – 1/4

Porulen cannot declare an attack.

At the beginning of your upkeep, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control. Porulen is indestructible as long as he is blocking. Porulen can block an additional creature for every other creature you control.

 _Still in the form of a soldier, Porulen spends his days training the recruits of the army of Akros. His armor is always impeccably polished and he has yet to receive a single scratch in battle._

 **Teriok, The Unstoppable Force**

Legendary Creature – Goblin Shaman

5/R – 4/1

Teriok cannot block.

Teriok is indestructible while she is attacking.

As long as you control a Goblin, all creatures you control gain haste. As long as you control an Ogre, all creatures you control gain lifelink. As long as you control a Minotaur, all creatures you control gain first strike. As long as you control a Giant, all creatures you control gain trample.

 _Still in the form of a goblin, Teriok spends her days ordering around various monster clans around Theros. Rarely has she gotten bored._

 **Return to Theros: Arc 3 – Dethronement**

It seemed like forever as Bib wandered the underworld. With Athreos as his only companion, Bib grew bored, constantly reminded of the war above by the random rumbles of the world and the large number of new souls constantly pouring into the underworld. Bib would have went mad or lost himself if a certain story hadn't dropped into his hand with a 'poof.' Taking one glance at the cover of the pristine, white book, Bib smiled wickedly and put out a distress call to the owner of the book.

He did not expect his answer so soon, a giant bipedal cat creature wearing a white cloak. The two had a short bout before all was cleared and the beast introduced himself: Ajani Goldmane.

As the two searched the underworld for a certain funeral mask, war between the gods was only getting worse. The pantheon was nearly split in two, with Heliod's army of gods fighting Purphoros' army of gods. Nylea sided with Purphoros while Thassa sided with Heliod. Nyxian energy flowed down into Theros, corrupting most of the inhabitants with the energy. The two realms were nearly merged, if not for the timely appearance of Ajani and Bib.

Ajani fought off the gods as the excess energy of Nyx was swallowed by Bib's form, returning him to the full glory of Bibliod. Using his restored abilities, he gave his fellow wronged gods their godly abilities and forms back and faced off against Heliod who just looked smug. That is until Bib held up a golden funeral mask. Heliod had a moment to be bewildered before being skewered through the back by a very familiar spear.

Heliod fell to his knees and dissipated into energy as the revived Elspeth Tirel stood before the pantheon, soaking in all of the energy that used to be Heliod and successfully transforming her into the new deity, "Elspeth, God of Justice." Her beloved weapon gained the sheen of Nyx on its blade. The powerful spear glowed a brilliant red as "Godscorned" was smelted across the grip.

With the death of Heliod also went the death of Erebos as the death god was the literal shadow of the sun god. Knowing that somebody would need to take over, Bibliod accepted the position, giving up his red domain for black and becoming, "Bibliod, God of Life."

Things would be different now, there would be no denying that truth.

 **Bibliod, God of Life**

Legendary Enchantment Creature - God

2/U/B/W – 2/6

Indestructible

As long as your devotion to blue, black, and white is less than ten, Bibliod isn't a creature.

U/B/W/T- Send the top five cards of target player's library to the graveyard; or return three cards from target player's graveyard to their library and shuffle their library; or each player sacrifices a creature.

 _Now lord of the underworld and master of life on Theros, Bibliod sits on his throne leisurely while letting his minions deal with the mass amounts of undead. He still takes time to give certain individuals 'proper treatment' and his prophecies are still frequent._

 **Ajani, Scion of the Light**

Planeswalker – Ajani

2/W/W – 4

+1 Put a 2/2 white elemental creature token with flying and lifelink onto the battlefield under your control.

-3 Destroy target creature and gain life equal to the destroyed creature's toughness.

-10 Exile all non-land permanents on the battlefield and gain 6 life for every permanent exiled this way.

 _With anger he is dangerous. With hope, even more so._

 **Elspeth, God of Justice**

Legendary Enchantment Creature – God

W/W/W/W/W – 5/5

Indestructible

As long as your devotion to white is less than five, Elspeth isn't a creature.

Creatures you control gain +0/+X where X is their base toughness.

W/W/W/T – All creatures you control gain lifelink, first strike, and vigilance until end of turn.

" _The crime has been corrected. Now we improve on our lives." –_ Elspeth, God of Justice

 **Godscorned**

Legendary Artifact Enchantment

6 Mana

U/U/U/T – Shuffle all cards from target player's graveyard into its controller's deck.

R/R/R/T – Prevent all damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn.

G/G/G/T – Reverse all stat changes that occur to target creature this turn.

W/W/W/T – All life gained this turn is changed to life loss.

B/B/B/T – All life loss this turn is changed to life gained.

" _This is a constant reminder of what and who I have lost...and those beings that took my precious things away. Let those wronged by forces out of their control come to me for aid, and I shall grant it to them." - Elspeth, God of Justice_

And there is Return to Theros. Yes I hate Heliod. Review, favorite, and tell me any ideas you have for cards that could be added to this or ways to flesh out the story. Thanks!


	2. Vadam

**Return To Theros**

 **Planeswalker Profile: Vadam**

Warning: Spoilers for Vadam's adventures by DragonFelicious.

 **Lore:** Possibly one of the most tortured souls in existence, Vadam's spark ignited at a young age on the plane of Sabbiol. Naive to a fault, Vadam was tricked by Tezeret into working for Nicol Bolas. Vadam performed many dastardly acts under orders for the ancient dragon. The deranged voice in his head -Nox- did not help matters.

Once he realized his work was more dangerous to his health than running away from Bolas, Vadam fled to Ravnica. There he grew fond of the Golgari Swarm and their leader, Jarad vod Savo, who tought him necromancy. During this time he also worked as a House Dimir agent under the orders of the Orzhov Syndicate member Teysa Karlov and gained a hatred for the Selesnya Conclave and Azorius Senate. After performing some questionable missions (under orders), Vadam met a planeswalker named Nazo Deci who helped him become a better that he had performed dispicable or amoral deeds, the planeswalker fled, again. Sadly, his past wasn't ready to let go. Vadam found himself trapped on an unknown plane, being hunted by Ajani Goldmane. He truly tried to escape, but Ajani eventually killed him. However, due to his necromancy and fear of death, Vadam resurected himself as a Lich.

Fearing for his newly restored life, Vadam fled to Mirrodin. A short time later and he had his first friend in Venser and his first rival in Elspeth Tirel. Sadly this didn't last long. Vadam held onto the friendship dearly but ran away at a critical point, driving Venser to do reckless actions and eventually leading to his death. Vadam did not know of Venser's death until much later.

(Insert the adventures of Vadam and his planeswalker comrades here. Also known as 'Shard in Peril' by DragonFelicis)

Running as far away as he could after the shenanigans involving The Enchantress (Shard in Peril), Vadam hid himself as a student and eventually an instructor in a magical school on a plane that was abundant in mana, but the inhabitants had no idea how to harness it. It was during these years that the relationship between Vadam and Nox improved enough so that they were true comrades, though some would argue that they were closer to bickering brothers. Vadam stayed on that plane for several years, but Bolas eventually found him and he was forced to leave everything he now held dear. Bolas managed to blast him with one mental spell before Vadam led the dragon on a plane-hopping goose chase.

This is when he ran to Theros. Once again he ran into Elspeth and the two attempted to kill each other before being forced to work together with Daxos of Meletis to slay Polukranos, the monster Hydra. Shortly after, Heliod, God of Light (BWAHAHAHAHA! Yeah right!) threatened them on sight for existing and forcibly ripped Nox from Vadam's mind. He would only get Nox back when he proved himself.

Shortly after they met Xenagos the satyr planeswalker, Elspeth killed Daxos, Xenagos attained godhood, and Elspeth and Vadam went to the Leonin tribes... And Ajani atempted to kill Vadam… again. Luckily Elspeth stopped him. Cue random adventuring, battling and character development. (seriously, the story is a lot better and also **Massive Spoilers Ahead for the end of Vadam's Cataclysm**.)

 **SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!**

 _Vadam charted a vessel with his fellow allied planeswalkers and left for the End of the World, where the god Kruphix waited. To move on he had to choose an ordeal based on one of the gods. He chose Erebos. The bastard brought him back to life, broke his favorite sword, and dropped him right into the fight with Xenagos. The fight was epic, ending with the death of the satyr god. The tired and beaten trio of Vadam, Elspeth, and Ajani attempted to leave, only to be stopped by Heliod who stabbed Elspeth in the back and shoved Nox back into Vadam before leaving them all to die._

 _As if the loss of a comrade wasn't bad enough, the now duo planeswalked and Vadam used mana to create a physical body for Nox. That last attack by Bolas had been eating away at him that entire time. Nox died then and there, his personality destroyed and his body reduced to a bauble._

 **SPOILERS END**

 **Aimeus Kartika Vadam**

Planeswalker – Vadam

B/B/U/U/W – 4

If this card has only one loyalty counter on it, transform it.

-3 – Place up to six -1/-1 counters divided as you choose among any number of target permanents.

-3 – Target opponent discards their hand.

-3 – Destroy all mono-colored permanents with a converted mana cost of four or more and any non-land permanents without a converted mana cost.

 _A poor soul cursed to walk alone. He never asked for this, but fate really hates him. His struggle continues to this day._

 **Vadam, Broken**

Planeswalker – Vadam

+2 Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature you control.

+1 Target opponent loses 2 Life.

-4 Remove target emblem.

-8 Exile all other non-land permanents. Search target opponent's deck and exile all Legendary permanents they own.

 _Vadam is angry and vengeful. Hope you aren't on his list of enemies._

 **Nox's Bauble**

Legendary Artifact

B/W

Indestructible

This permanent cannot be exiled.

You have hexproof.

 _Proof of Vadam's family._

(Yeah, no happy ending for Vadam. Now we wait for book 4.)


	3. Outcasts

****Return To Theros:**** ** **The Outcasts****

 ** **Planeswalker Profile:**** ** **Tetoran Nimblestep****

 ** **Lore:**** Always referred to as the runt of the clan, Tetoran was born under the head shaman and brother to the would-be chief. He was more intelligent than most in his clan and even developed a conscience. He was lythe, with dark skin and blonde fur. He received the title 'Nimblestep' from escaping a giant without getting hit once. This was no honor, this was a brand of cowardice and the hoof print brand on his chest would never let him forget this.

As if escaping the giant hadn't been enough, he was placed on the front lines as fodder during a raid on a nearby centaur camp. His trusty throwing axes were at his side as he stormed through the camp, slicing through warriors left and right but completely ignoring the fowls and females. The men purposely got in his way, but the innocents had nothing to do with this. Apparently not all of his clansmen thought so, and he ended up fighting his own allies to protect the innocent. Seeing treachery, all of the minotaurs turned on him. It was this moment of crisis that caused his spark to ignite. Nimblestep indeed.

Upon return to the plane, Tetoran was forcibly pulled into the underworld for an audience with Biblious, God of Life who monitored each planeswalker entering the plane and decided if they were safe. He took one look at Tetoran and laughed before sending him topside.

Now Tetoran stands as a protector for those with no place, never accepted by the populace for his species and never accepted by his species for his actions. While on Theros, he has garnered the title of "Hysteria's Champion."

 ** **Allegiances:**** Boros, Iroas, Hysteria

 ** **Tetoran Nimblestep****

Planeswalker – Tetoran

R/R/W/2 – 3 Loyalty Counters

+1 – Give target creature first strike and haste until the end of target opponent's next turn.

-3 – Summon two 2/3 red minotaur creature tokens with haste to the battlefield under your control.

-6 – You gain an emblem with, "All creatures you control gain +2/+2 and first strike.

 **MTGMTGMTGMTGMTGMTGMTG**

 ** **Legendary Profile:**** ** **The Pagemaster****

 ** **Lore:**** Leader of the cult of Bib. The enigmatic, nameless Pagemaster constantly works with his followers to record everything. The only thing you ever see from The Pagemaster is a long purple cloak and a porcelain mask covered in arcane sygils. Biblious finds his actions cute. The Pagemaster is not a fighter, and has very convincing illusions if he ever enters conflict. His favorite is the giant glowing effigy of _his_ god of life. Then again, how can you attempt conflict with him, when you are too busy fighting yourself?

 ** **The Pagemaster****

Legendary Creature – Human Wizard

U/B/2 – 0/4

When this creature enters the battlefield, summon two 0/1 blue illusion creature tokens with hexproof to the battlefield under your control.

U/U/1 – Summon a 0/1 blue illusion creature token with hexproof to the battlefield under your control.

When an opponent casts a spell you may pay B/B/1 and sacrifice an illusion to copy that spell. If that spell would target a permanent(s) on the field you may select new a new target(s).

 **MTGMTGMTGMTGMTGMTG**

 ** **Legendary Profile: Sky Eater Slime****

 ** **Lore:**** Known by the natives of Setessa as the 'Anti-Monster,' the Sky Eater Slime (SES) is a beast without form; save a thick mucus membrane. It slides over everything in a wave, leaving everything it covers unharmed while sucking the essence of Nyx out of every inhabitant of Theros. The more it feeds, the more it grows, the more it hungers. Luckily it hasn't spread far from Setessa. Too bad nothing relying on godly power can kill it.

 ** **Sky Eater Slime****

Legendary Creature – Ooze Wall

G/B/1 – 1/3

Defender

Protection from enchantments

G/B/2 – Exile target enchantment.

Sky Eater Slime gains +1/+1 for every enchantment exiled.

If the strength of SES is five or greater, SES loses defender.

 **MTGMTGMTGMTGMTGMTG**

 ** **Planeswalker Profile: Felix – Xilef****

 ** **Lore:**** It is a general thought that brothers are close to each other. These two couldn't be closer. After all, who could be closer to you than you?

Felix and Xilef are identical twins, born to a poverty stricken seer and Keranos taken human form. Charged with the energy of Nyx while in the womb, the 'brothers' were a special case of a mind being too strong for one vessal so a second one was created. Both bodies are exactly the same; short stature with a slim build and shoulder length purple hair. The only way to tell them apart is their attire of choice. Felix prefers longer clothing with cooler colors while Xilef prefers shorter clothing with hotter colors. Felix is more logical while Xilef is more emotional.

They are literally two halfs of the same mind. Xilef holds a slight grudge against his father for leaving their mother while Felix can see why Keranos left and holds no ill will. They are both still relatively young, about fourteen each, and their childish sides can still show at the best and worst of times. Their will be times when they can't agree and Felix will stubbornly refuse to concede while Xilef throws an impressive tantrum.

Felix is a master cryomancer while Xilef is a master Pyromancer. Together they can make powerful lightning magic and the two must be together if they want to planeswalk. The twins are telepathic, but only between each other. They are also immune to all forms of lightning and each brother is resistant to his own element.

Being twins they have a couple quirks about them. If they are confused then they will turn to each other and raise their brows instead of raising them to what or who is confusing them. In fact, they do that with most of their emotions. Seeing them argue is strange because they are the same mind. All outbursts are cut off prematurely as they are telepathic and it is literally a case of arguing with oneself.

The boys have a rather large weakness. They each feel each others pain. One gets hurt, the other gets the message which hurts them, which is then sent back to the first brother. The feeling may echo for several minutes at a time depending on the pain. It was a pain feed of over thirty minutes that awakened their planeswalker spark.

 ** **Alegiances:****

 **Felix:** Izzet, Geralf, Keranos, Jace

 **Xilef:** Izzet, Gisa, Chandra

 ** **Felix and Xilef****

Planeswalker – Felix/Xilef

U/R/2 – 4 Loyalty Counters

+1 – Declare the name of a card. That card cannot be played until after your next upkeep.

+1 – Deal 1 damage to target creature, player, or planeswalker.

-7 – Send the top eight cards from target opponent's library to the graveyard. Deal damage divided as you choose among any number of target creatures, planeswalkers, and/or players equal to the total converted mana cost of the cards sent. Lands count as 1.

 **MTGMTGMTGMTGMTGMTG**

 ** **Legendary Profile: Paradai, The Preaching Vision****

 ** **Lore:**** Jaxeg was an unorthodox satyr to say the least. He didn't get the appeal of constant revelry and destruction like most of his kin. It was during this time that he abandoned his kin for a simple life in Setessa. However this didn't last. Xenagos happened.

Sticken by the influence of the mad god, the citizens of Setessa drove out the satyr, only for him to be killed by satyrs he had previously known and befriended. Though most would know that a satyr can't be controlled. His determination and fortitude achieved him the Returned funeral mask. His body was heavily burned in the attack, all of his body hair was scorched or torn off, and one horn was torn in half.

Now a rogue Returned, with no name, memories, or place in the world, this new creature took to traveling endlessly, telling all who would listen that nothing is certain. It has been called Paradai, The Preaching Vision by all who have heard it. This rather strange type of Returned has never been heard of before and has garnered the attention of The Cult of Bib which suspects godly intervention. Paradai will continue walking the plane until its message has been heard, and nothing will stop it.

 ** **Paradai, The Preaching Vision****

Legendary Creature – Satyr Zombie

W/G/3 – 3/5

Protection from black and red

You're opponent cannot interact with their graveyard as long as Paradai, The Preaching Vision is on the battlefield.

 **MTGMTGMTGMTGMTGM**

And there are the outcasts. I think I'll do something more comedic next time. Anyway, review, favorite, and I will see you all next chapter.


	4. Bib or Bust 1

**Return to Theros**

 **Bib or Bust 1**

 **MTGMTGMTGMTGMTG**

As everybody should know from last chapter, planeswalkers must be cleared by Bib before gaining access to Theros. This is some of those moments. Expect more.

*Planeswalkers may be canon or not. I will set up for scenarios for any that I get permission to use if they were created by another author.*

*All of the text is from Bib's point of view.*

 **MTGMTGMTGMTGMTG**

Aimeus Kartika Vadam: DragonFelicis

If Bib wasn't the god of life, he may have died of laughter.

He was keeping an eye on his 'cult' when a dark shape flew by his gaze. There was a yell and a loud crash followed by a string of cursing and a couple glass vials breaking. Several 'ow's echoed as each vial broke on the newcomers head.

A small smirl of stars around Bib's hand and he was holding a book. The hardcover faded from a deep blue to a perfectly balanced grey. He gingerly opened it to the contents page. Aimeus Kartika Vadam. He couldn't help but snort. That entrance was so him.

"Hello, Aimeus. I was wondering when you would show."

The youngish planeswalker jumped to attention with a sword in hand pointed at Bib. "Who are you and where am I?" He was honestly trying to sound intimidating, but his confusion made it sound amusing.

"You and I are so alike its staggering. The only difference is I can take a joke. Welcome back to Theros."

The brown haired animancer quickly shifted and glanced around at the generally dark room they were in. "You're bluffing."

Bib gave a quick twirl of his robes, showing the constellations of Nyx. There were also stars covering his eyes. Bib put on his best 'I'm not bluffing' grin and snapped, making the blue book disappear.

"You wanna run that by me again, mortal?" Bib baited. Young Aimeus's response was to go for the sword swing. Bib side-stepped and tripped the former lich, sending him into another table.

"Now really, Aimeus. So unprofessional." Aimeus pulled himself from a pile of wood and books.

"That's Vadam. Don't call me Aimeus."

"Good, so you've calmed down, Amy." Amy's eye twitched involuntarily.

"Why am I here?" Amy spat.

"Nyx is under new management. I'm the one who clears entry for planeswalkers." Amy blinked rapidly.

"What?" It seemed like Amy's brain short circuited.

"Oh yeah, you were gone for a couple months. Well, I know you aren't a threat to Theros now that **he** is gone. Now I'll just be sending you up now. Say hi to the queen for me."

POV change: Vadam

'That was a very confusing experience.' Vadam thought to himself. 'Since when was Nyx under new management? Who is this queen? Who was that hooded god? Why did I have to crash land AGAIN!?'

"Get out a never come back!" cried a clearly female voice. Vadam could also see a small dark shape screaming as it fell to the underworld. Honestly, it was comical.

"Ah, so you are the one Bib sent up." From behind Vadam came a rather impressively built being fully dressed in golden armor. All of his skin was Nyxian stars but his armor glowed more brilliantly than any of them.

"Um… Who are you?" Vadam remembered the pantheon and this guy was definitely not part of it.

"Apologies. The mortals call me Populusque. Greetings. Milady is waiting."

"Milady, wait- what?"

"Milady shall explain all." A smoke cloud was left behind as Vadam was forced forward through some rather large white doors.

"Explain this to me! Who is the queen!? What are you!? Why am I -" Populusque forced Vadam's head forward and his jaw dropped. His eyes went wide as saucers, he slumped over, and he even started to tear a little. On the throne of Nyx sat a lithe, powerful, beautiful woman who's shadow filtered with stars. Her spear, Godscorned lay at her side.

And she was just as surprised as Vadam.

"No way..." both said.

"You died!" "You came back!"

The two ran up to each other, surprise still on their faces. Elspeth, God of Justice, blushed fiercely before decking Vadam across the jaw. "I will not be fooled. Vadam would never come back here!"

Elspeth summoned Godscorned to her hand and prepared to imbed it into Vadam's skull only for it to be blocked by Populusque's staff. "Milady, he was sent by Bibliod."

Instantly her gaze softened. She glanced over to Vadam who sat on the floor rubbing his jaw. "It is nice to know you still care, Elspeth. Could somebody please explain everything to me?"

-2 Hours Later-

Bib slammed his book shut as Amy popped back into his study. "Welcome back, Am- oof!" The life god was actually caught off guard as Vadam hugged him.

"Thank you."

For once, Bib gave a genuine smile. 'Any time, kid.' He glanced back to the blue book in his hand. 'You deserve it after everything you've been through.'

 **MTGMTGMTGMTG**

Thalanos: DragonFelicis

*Thalanos is a sexist, mightier-than-thou, female archangel who has been cursed to be forever hunted by angels by the goddess she once served but betrayed.*

"Finally, last soul of the day," Bib breathed in relief as his work was done. Maybe now he would get in a power nap and -

"Where the hell am I!" 'Damn it all!' A book appeared in his hand, white with blue wings on the cover. Oh, he remembered this one. This was the least likable one from Vadam's book.

"Answer me, male!" 'pop' Bib appeared behind Thalanos, each wing in one hand.

"Now really, that was incredibly rude. Demanding something of the host in his own realm, Thalanos." Now she was struggling.

"Vadam? But I killed you!" Bib forcibly spun Thalanos around and held her by the collar. His smile was more manic than usual, but he would give this angel a special honor. She was at the perfect angle to see his eyes. Nobody should ever have to see his eyes.

"I know what you did to the kid, hatchling. I know the queen wouldn't like it if she found out. And I know you've already pissed off one immortal on this plane. Now leave, before I feed you to the other sixteen."

"I don't take orders from you!"

"YOU'RE FUNERAL!" 'pop' And she was gone. A list of each of the gods poofed into his hand, starting with Ephara and gradually going to Elspeth. Bib couldn't help but laugh maniacally. This was probably his best torture yet.

-Several Days Later-

Bib was smiling as a scream came closer and closer to his domain. He knew it was perfect when he heard the queen yell, "Get out and never come back!" A small crash later, and a crater in his study, and the mostly broken body of Thalanos revealed itself, harshly breathing and on her side. Bib picked her up by the neck. Once again, she saw his eyes.

"Now then, you are never to come back to Theros. All of the monsters on this plane shall hunt you and all sentient life shall disrespect you. Get out." There was a short pause, and then she was gone. The only indication that she had been there being the trace amounts of aether from the walk.

 **MTGMTGMTGMTG**

 **Okay, so maybe I had a bit too much fun with these, but I enjoyed it. It probably could have been done better, but this is meant to be comedic, not perfect. So damn you Thalanos, and may you all have a nice day.**


	5. Bib or Bust 2

**Return to Theros**

 **Bib or Bust 2**

 **MTGMTGMTGMTGMTG**

Kiobre: DragonFelicis (Post Shard in Peril)

*Kiobre is a flesh and blood demon corrupted by black mana*

Bib looked up from his book just a glance and knew he would have trouble.

The beast in front of him was large, imposing, purple, spiked, and had pitch black eyes. Large wings hung from its back, the appearance of them similar to its main body. It breathed heavily and constantly sniffed the air. Yeah, this thing was a predator and knew it.

"May I help you?" The beast grunted.

"I'm going to ask you to leave." The beast screamed.

"Now that's just rude." The beast smirked.

"You will not find your brother here, begone!" Bib yelled with a wave of his hand.

There was a pregnant pause in Bib's office as the two powerful beings stared at each other. A single star dripped down Bib's face, and with that the beast disappeared with a small aether rift. Bib waited several moments before breathing out in relief. "I do not get payed enough for this."

 **MTGMTGMTGMTGMTG**

Karesh: DragonFelicis

*Karesh is Kiobre's brother.*

*Pop* "I think I got away this time." -Smack- The flesh-demon was forced back into the blind eternities as the tome collided with his face.

Bib just smiled. "Sorry Karry. This is your punishment and you are not getting out of it." His laughter echoed through the underworld.

 **MTGMTGMTGMTGMTG**

Reaper: DragonFelicis

*Reaper is a living human skeleton that wields a giant scythe. His real name is Perseus.*

"Funny, this is not where I was meant to be..." spoke a deep, baritone voice. "I was expecting something brighter."

Bib actually groaned into his hand.

"May I help you?" The robed skeleton turned to the annoyed god.

"..."

"Why are you here?"

"..."

"Are you going to say anything?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Sick of sitting around awkwardly, Bib opened his book. His eyes widened. Then his grin followed shortly.

"Ah, okay. It's nice to meet you Percy." -Shing-

Bib vanished into Nyxian stars as Reaper swung his scythe. The god's chair wasn't so lucky, getting bisected.

"Ooh, looks like I touched a nerve, not that you have any."

"..."

"You want access to Theros right?"

"..."

"Well as long as you don't kill anyone without reason."

"..."

"And don't piss off any other gods."

"..."

"You really don't talk much..."

"… … … … … I'm leaving."

"Knock yourself out, Percy."

Reaper swung his scythe, meeting air. "Bwahaha! Close, Percy, but not enough!"

Bib wasn't sure how, but he was met with a skeleton's glare.

"Either enjoy the plane or get out." Reaper walked out of his office, some dust trailing behind him as he ground his jaw.

Bib sat back in his bisected chair, feet on his desk and hands behind his head. His smirk was of victory. 'That was no where near as annoying as I thought it would be.'

 **MTGMTGMTGMTGMTG**

 **Still having a blast writing these shorts.** **I may do shorts for Tetoran and the twins, but other than that I don't see these happening more often unless it is requested by the author of an OC or somebody requests a Bib or Bust encounter with a canon character.**

 **I hope you all enjoyed, review, favorite, and I will see you all next time.**


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